SUNSETTER, MOONRISER: The Tragic & Explosive Death of Dean Rainard, Instalment II

Instalment Two: Dean, Dean, the Jumping Bean

Here is something everyone should know about people afflicted in the way Dean Rainard was afflicted: the affliction gradually accumulates over time. When he was a child, Dean Rainard attended Eel River Athapaskan Grammar School. While he was there he became the victim of countless attacks of bullies. Until third grade, a bully by the name of Graham Stokes would give him a punch in the stomach and take Dean’s lunch money everyday. One day, Graham Stokes beat Dean Rainard so badly that Rainard was hospitalised for three days on account of having a broken nose, two broken ribs, and internal bleeding. It is really sick what some kids will do for two dollars and fifty cents. Graham Stokes got expelled for this and when he was fifteen, got put in the crazy bin for killing all two hundred and fourteen of farmer Eli Gristle’s hens by decapitation.
It was Graham Stokes who, in the first grade, gave Dean Rainard the nickname that he would go by for the rest of his school career. The nickname was this:

Dean Dean the jumping bean
Jumping on a trampoline
Jump-so-high
Jump-so-low
He jumped on a buffalo!

This name stuck with him until he graduated from Eel River Athapaskan High School when he was eighteen. The name started out as a way for Graham Stokes and all his first grade buddies to insult Dean but eventually was adopted by the entire faculty of the school and even Dean’s own parents. His mom would call him in for dinner,
“Dean-Dean-the-jumping-bean-jumping-on-a-trampoline-jump-so-high-jump-so-low-he-jumped-on-a-buffalo! Come in for dinner sweetheart!” And Dean would come.
Dean never told anyone how much he hated being called this. He simply learned to deal with it in two ways. One way he dealt with it was by becoming a fabulous multi-tasker. Doing as many things as he could simultaneously helped Dean keep his mind off how much he hated being called by his nickname. He learned to listen to music, while studying as many teenagers do. But his multi-tasking went further than this. He could write paragraphs upon paragraphs with his right hand, while drawing a self portrait with his left. He could jog while reading and eating ice cream. He obviously became quite famous for his multi-tasking. How could someone who was riding a bike and mixing ingredients for a cake go unnoticed? He was unknowing of it, but, although multi-tasking was a main defence mechanism for Dean Rainard, it would eventually bring about his death. The other way he dealt with the hatred of the nickname was by silently and unknowingly becoming a crazy person.